Welcome back to the Shitshow

 Let's all stop pretending for a minute, being a mom isn't Pinterest-perfect lunches, soft lighting and kids in matching linen outfits giggling over educational crafts. It's crumbs in every crevice of the couch, sticky fingers on every surface, and the soundtrack of "Moooooomm" on repeat from sun-up to whenever you finally collapse at night. And summer break? Summer break is its feral, unmedicated cousin that shows up uninvited, dumps glitter on your floor, eats everything in your pantry, and then cries because it's still hungry.

I have 3 kids, yes, three humans that I'm responsible for keeping alive and guiding through life, and let me tell you - it's not the cute kind of chaos. I've got a teenager with a phone and an attitude, a preteen with Autism, ADHD, and a list long enough to roll out like Sant's scroll, and a younger son who has a learning disability and an unresolved Gi issue, which basically means, we do timed bathroom breaks, and he still ends up sitting there shitting and pissing his pants, like nobody notices. 

The teenager? We love her, but we are in full hormonal hunger-games stage of life. One moment she's giving me side hugs and asking me to braid her hair and to go to Starbucks with her, the next she's rolling her eyes so hard I'm worried they'll get stuck in her skull, all because I asked her to put her dish in the dishwasher, not near it. 

The preteen? She's brilliant, funny, and navigating a world that wasn't designed with her in mind. She processes things differently, moves constantly, and can go from hyper focus genius to emotional meltdown in 0.3 seconds. And guess what? That meltdown always hits right as I'm trying to do something. 

My youngest? He's got the biggest heart, and also pees through his pants almost daily. Doctors don't have answers, and we're in a medical limbo zone - which is super fun when you're trying to go anywhere in public and you've packed an emergency outfit (or 6) Baby wipes, & the list goes on. 

So yeah summer break isn't exactly a vacation. It's like someone took all the responsibilities of motherhood, added extra hours, removed the routine, and threw it in a goddamn heatwave just to keep it spicy. 

And yes we all want memories but sometimes I just want to eat a sandwich in peace, I want to pee without all the children finding me, I want to stop googling 'does extreme eye rolling cause permanent damage.'